I stood on the hardwood floor
in the living room
of your grandparents' house
my arms and shoulders ached
as I rocked your brother for what I hoped
would be the last time before he fell asleep
I looked out the window
where you learned to run and play
I felt a large presence behind me
and knew it was you
though you were just a child
where you are now
you are large
much bigger
than your almost 6 ft tall mother
how is it that at 23
I now have a 35-year-old son?
how is it that
the son I bore, carried and cared for
is now carrying me?
you are with me
just as you were
people don't know what to say
and repeat
I'm sorry for your loss
sorry
indeed I am
but I have lost nothing